Hi all, I'm new here. I think your input may help me. I've written many songs. They are incomplete until I get a band. The recordings are terrible and donot include drums or bass.
Give me your input on the basic structure of this song.
I wanna be right
[url]http://www.nowhereradio.com/roblydy/singles[/url]
With a proper recording, this could be a fairly cool song...
It's pretty tough to pick apart this song, being as it's lacking two important components of the rythm section.
The lyrics come off as a bit mundane, a little bit repetative, as if you tried a little to hard to make sure everything rhymed. The title is repeated how many times? Maybe just cutting back on the length of the song a bit would do it. 6 minutes is pushing it a bit far.
Vocals need effect, chorus/verb. Definately need a bit of lower eq., and to be pushed back a bit. Lead guitar needs some juice, ditto with the rythm guit.. Definately some conflicting highs in the current mix.
Let me know when you get bass and drums in there!
it has possibilities, my take is a fuller, more structured lyrics with less emphesis on "I wanna be right". try mixing other words like, "show me the light or with all my might, i wanna be right to offset all the IWBRights. (or my favorite "my pants are too tight) like to hear it when its got a rythymn section.
Thats a cool song.. "I wanna be right"..... But the recording is rough.... You don't have to spend any money, even if you downloaded a free program like N-Track, you could get this alot better...
I like the song, and really it is about the music, so your on the right road...
Irock,
sounds like a race, he, he, he
great tune, do you sing and play one of the instruments at the same time? I don't do much singing but a lot of playing. IMO it sounds like you may be laboring at doing both the singing and the playing. If so, have you tried overdubbing the vocals? I have real problems with playing and singing together. When I do try singing it works better for me to seperate the playing and the singing.
dtb
You all have been helpful. I will look at changeing the lyrics some.
It will be a while before I can add drums and bass. I have no means at this time.
I will check out ntracks.
and yes, I played the accustic and sang at the same time, then I overdubbed with electric. For the most part, all electric is improvised, especially the solos.
Ever thought about getting someone to lay down the bass/drum tracks for you online?
Folks do it all the time now.
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I will check out n-track.
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www.fasoft.com
The guy "Flavio" is really nice, and will help you get going if you decide to do it... it's a free demo, and the full version is $35.. but most people are happy with the free version....
Hello Irock,
I agree with the previous comments. Maybe with a little polish, it could be easier on the ears. The important thing as previously stated, Is there is a song there with a decent melody.
Keep it up.
For a rough mix I thought it sounded pretty good.
Nice guitar playing,and you can definatly belt it out,wish I could do that!
Just a thought,how about-I wanna be right,I wanna be free-somewhere in the song.
Just my 2 cents.
Keep it up,good work,
Pete
First off, I think this song has huge potential. Straight up it has a solid hook that makes me want to listen to it even without the bass and drums. Though I will say that 200 USD spent on a cheap drum machine and an octave lowering effect for the guitar would be money well spent. I belive that you will find your mixes get much tighter when you have a steady beat to play to.
About the only thing I can add to what's already been said is that you might want to try working a bit on proper beathing techniques for singing. I've found that wearing breath rite strips while sleeping has done wonders for me in terms of avoiding mouth breathing while singing and I have gotten increased clarity and range out of my vocals.
Anyway, keep working at it. You have a good start already.