New Guy would like a critique.

[lee19k]

Hey,

I'm new here. I'm also new at recording, mixing, etc... I play bass, my wife sings.

If you would, please critique my mix on Can I Give You More. I still have work to do on the chorus vocals.

http://www.nowhereradio.com/sailingwithjesus/singles

John

[ernzberger]

ok so jesus isnt exactly my area of expertese. but i like this song guys.

actually, i think im addicted to this song "child im knocking" its kind of ironic dont you agree? last night i was watching one of the three channels i can get on my tv which is the "trinity christian broadcast" station. and i cought this movie "six:the mark unleashed"... for those who havent heard of it, it seems like an adaptation of that sensational christian fiction series called "the rapture" about the "end times" which blends eliments of sci-fi into the mix. man its pretty scary and a little hard to identify with for a guy like me but i found value in it as a piece of fiction and a tail of struggle etc. so thats a perfict little preface into my review of your song "child im knocking"

ok so to get to the music:

i appreciate a lot of things about this song some of which may have been unintended. i like the use of the drum machine or whatever it is, its really well set up. although some people have trouble getting into synth drums, i am a big fan. the clapping fading in at the end...very tasteful and the drum fills are kindof silly and fun, i like it. the ending i think could even go on a little longer with the clapping becoming loader still, i was really beginning to get into it and then it was over. but thats good, leave 'em wanting more jesus right?

the song has a real feeling of movement, like a locomotive swing that really fits your message.

the vocals are absolutely fantastic. and well mixed. i really like the flat understatedness of them at times, it reminds me of the meat puppets and [i]i know that was unintentional[/i], but i think even from a christian standpoint there is value in letting the words do the talking rather than shouting at people.

well done, ill be back to check out your other songs. for what its worth youve reached one non-christian with the musical interest and uplifting spirit of your song. brovo

arbitrary face rating:

[lee19k]

Wow, I almost forgot this song was here. I've worked on it since posting it here. I have the second version posted, same link. [url=http://www.nowhereradio.com/sailingwithjesus/singles]http://www.nowhereradio.com/sailingwithjesus/singles[/url]

It has real guitars and mabye too much on the effects, I'm playing and learning.

I watched the same show last night, while not How I interpret revelations, non the less a fun show. Free info: the show took place during the 7 year tribulation, the rapture takes place before the 7 years. There's other stuff to but this isn't sunday school I would however be happy to answer any question or clear of any confusion.

Glad you enjoyed the song. I'd be interested in what you think of the newer version.

Thanks again
John

[ernzberger]

very interesting
to be honest, i think i like the original better.

vocal effect - i hear a flanger and an echo. the vocal effect does add an interesting texture and suggests a certain quality that may appeal to a different audience (more alternative / rock and less country although your voice still suggests country).

the new guitars - again contribute to an aesthetic of rock and roll. they represent a very specific era of 'big rock' which is a little too potent a reference for my tastes. not that i shouldnt encourage the guitarist by saying i thought he/she did a fairly good job within the framework of that style, particularly the first little solo.

id say this version is maybe more showy. where as the older version was more subtly charming. It does approach that sensational feel which you might want. however, the song reaches a plateau early on and stays at that level in terms of volume instrumentation, texture, depth, tone, rythm. which you kindof have to struggle to out-do with the "hallelujah" section at the end by going higher in the scale with your voice and instruments. with this goal of a dramatic ending, consider adding more intricacy each verse and saving something for the end which occupies a new space in the mix either in terms of any of the characteristics i mentioned, or any others you could think of. its just an idea... not that i necessarily know what im talking about. im just trying to imagine the moment the way i feel like you want it to happen and how i might do that.

i liked "child im knockin" more though as an understated piece. maybe from the starting pointof the original i would added more texture with acoustic instruments instead of the rocker feel. This might have contrasted that with the drums you already have which are flashy, but humble at the same. The contrast though might have been a good thing for the drums, showing that they sound the way they do, not because you coulndnt get a real drummer, but because theres something (again) locomotive going on or kindof pretermined (if thats not too much of a stretch). i hope that im being helpful even if im also very opinionated.

an interesting rendition, worth doing, and worth listening to as a study of the alteration of the feel of a song using instrumentation and effects.